Between Hope And Promise

Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.     
Hebrews 10:23

This was the verse that the Lord laid on my heart for 2023. I didn’t know what was in store for me, but He obviously did.

My year started out, as they all do, with a focus on hope. Most years seem to start out this way for a lot of us. We have hopes for what a new year will bring. If last year was filled with trials, hopes that the new year will be better. If last year brought blessings, hopes that good things will continue and keep multiplying. If last year was stressful, hopes of peace. If last year was joyful, hopes for more to come.

For me, at the beginning of 2023 I was beginning to feel a tug towards a more public forum for my writing rather than just in my journals. I didn’t go willingly. I may have actually tried to convince God that He had gotten the wrong girl.

But I had been in a “growth spurt” for the past couple of years, getting to know Jesus, getting to know who I am through Him, learning to hear His voice. So I made the choice to obey His suggestion and jump in. 

That first blog post was the hardest. I was nervous about putting my thoughts out there for everyone to see…but God was faithful.

In the spring God gave me a gentle nudge toward women’s ministry. I have been ministered to by some pretty amazing Godly women over the years. I didn’t see myself as being in a position to be on the other side of that ministry…but God was faithful.

As the months marched on I started to feel stuck. Stuck between the hope and the promise, the place where I was called to affirm and to trust. 

Many days I got caught up in my own ideas of where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do. I took off in my own direction and then got frustrated when things didn’t look like I planned…but God was faithful.

Many days when I thought we should be pressing forward He told me to take a step back and rest. I thought that was counterproductive…but God was faithful.

I had hopes for other people. Hopes for healing, for freedom, for joy, for peace. I spent time in prayer, often not getting the miraculous results I wanted. Situations arose that seemed insurmountable…but God was faithful.

I had hopes for changes I wanted to see in myself. I didn’t know how to bring them about, or I tried to do it myself and failed…but God was faithful.

I got impatient. I wanted the end result right now. I wanted more. I wanted what I wanted. I wondered why this plan of mine wasn’t falling into place…but God was faithful.

But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed.  
Exodus 16:18

I grumbled like the Israelites did as they wandered through the desert. I whined that things were not going the way I wanted them to. I lost sight of the amazing things that the Lord had already shown me, already done in my life. Oh, how quickly we forget. How easily we disregard the manna He provides for us each day.

I lost my direction, lost my focus for a time. But He didn’t leave me there, He reminded me where my hope is anchored. It is anchored in the grace and mercy that He sent Jesus to pour over me.

When the hope that I was clinging to was the hope of my own ideas, my own fabricated vision of what I wanted, that hope pulled me into a dark starless night. 

When the hope that I hold so tightly returns to Jesus, His promise shines like the North star in a crystal clear sky.

I can now look back and see how each piece of manna showed up at just the right time to sustain me. An encouraging word from a friend, opportunities to use what I have learned to help someone else, a more flexible job that He led me to a year ago which allows time for study and writing, opportunities to share my testimony, the Compel training program to teach me some things that writers should know, a supportive husband who let me run off for a weekend alone with Jesus, glimmers of healing and peace in those I was praying for, insights into my own actions and convictions about what I needed to change or let go, the list goes on and on.

I can see the pieces that showed up to feed the needs I was praying for at just the right time, in just the right amount. I can see that His promise is still there and that He is still guiding me along the path to reach it. I can see how my year progressed through that verse, from hope to trust…because God is faithful.

So my recap for 2023 is this: live with incredible hope, dream big dreams, keep those hopes and dreams anchored to Jesus, and look for the daily manna that sustains you on the way to your promise.